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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Rough Couple of Days

First of all, I'm having problems with The Baby hitting and scratching me. She doesn't do it to The Man or anyone who watches her, just me. I've tried saying no sternly with the mean mommy face, then showing her how to be gentle while telling her gentle. And I've tried to turn my back on her or walk away for about 30 seconds. With both things she stops for 2 seconds, then goes back to hitting and scratching me in the face. Last night I got very overwhelmed with her and had to ask The Man to take a break from his homework so I could take a break from The Baby. I felt bad that I let her actions, which she has no idea what she's doing, get to me. It hurts though, physically hurts, when she does this. My eye still hurts today from a gouging last night. This behavior has been going on for almost 2 weeks now. I'm going to try and ignore the behavior and just get up and stop playing with her when it happens next time. Hopefully if I do that enough, she will learn that her actions will get no reaction from me. It sucks to have to do that since we don't get much time together, but I need to stop this ASAP. So that's the first thing that's been a little hard for me these past few days.

The other thing is my health. I saw my doctor yesterday for a follow up appointment from my colonoscopy. She informed me that the polyp that was removed was a really bad one. It was not cancer yet, but it's the type that develops into cancer. Because of that, I am at a high risk for Colon Cancer. What she said didn't really sink in until after The Baby went to bed for the night. HIGH RISK for COLON CANCER.....at 31. It still brings me to tears to think about this. I know I don't have cancer, but to be so young and be so at risk is scary. I asked her what would have caused this to happen. She said having a lot of friction is the main thing that causes polyps. Meaning, hard stool. When I was in my partying days, I did a lot of drugs, drank a lot of alcohol and didn't drink a lot of water. When I told her that, she that was probably what caused my polyp to form. So yeah, I pretty much did this to myself.....good job Renee. Talk about residual effects. I'm so glad I no longer have any part of my old lifestyle!!

SO, I asked what I could do to prevent it. She said there hasn't been a lot of answers found, but there are a few things that can definitely help. Eating a lot of fiber, drinking a lot of water and being cautious about the amount of meat I eat (for some people meat makes them constipated and that's what I need to avoid). Needless to say, this morning when I packed my food for the day I made sure to have a lot of fiber packed choices on hand.

Then, this morning was utter chaos for me. The Man woke up late, so I had to do my regular daily routine, plus his. We were trying to leave early because we needed to drop the van off for service. We left a little later than we wanted to, but it was still looking okay. As soon as I left my street, the low tire pressure light came on in the van. I had to call The Man (who was in the other car behind me) and find out if I should get air or have the dealership take care of it. He then informed me that he forgot his tie at home and needed to go back (he had an interview today and absolutely needed it). I said okay, you go back for your tie and I'll meet you at the gas station after I drop off the baby. I get to the gas station and he's no where in site. He usually handles putting air in the tires and all other car things. Luckily, I know how to do these things if I have to. I proceed to take care of inflating all of the tires myself and when I'm done, he's still not there. I get in the car, missed call. I call him back, where are you, he says where are you?! I said at the gas station. He said well I've been at this other gas station waiting for you the whole time. Great! I call him back to find out if I should wait for him or what and he's pulling in behind me. Sweet, now we can be on our way. Nope, go to leave the gas station and a fuelling truck had just pulled in and blocked the exit. I try to go around another way and a truck is pulling in and I can't get by. I have to back up and park to let the other truck through and then can get on my way. At this point, I've hit my limit. I had to sit in that parking space and just scream at the top of my lungs. I haven't done that in god knows how long. Once the way was clear I was able to get the hell out of there and on route to the dealership....FINALLY! We dropped of the van after waiting for the 4 people in front of us and made it to the bart station in time to get to work 30 minutes late. I think my husband saw my little melt down at the gas station because he seemed to be trying to cheer me up the rest of the morning. Needless to say it was a little intense and I was really looking forward to coming in to work where I knew I had nothing to work on and could just zone out on the Internet all morning. Now I'm just waiting for the dealership to call me back and to tell me if our van problem is covered under warranty or if we need to pay $100 to get it fixed. I'm sure it's not covered and we'll need to pay the money because that's just how life is going for us these days. Oh well, it is what it is. Just as long as it gets taken care of.

Between The Baby, my health and feeling like I'm doing everything by myself these days, I'm having a rough time doing it all with a smile. I know this too shall pass and they are high class problems, but like I say, some days are better than others. I researched some techniques online to use with the baby and talked to a co-worker who has a daughter who is strong headed like mine. Hopefully when I go home tonight I can start with a fresh slate and get my mental state in a better place. Also, it sounds like The Man might not have much homework to do tonight, so hopefully he can help out too.

Rough days can only lead to better days!

Oh, and I did get a surprise visit from The Man today after his interview! That was awesome. We got a little bit of face time and a mid day kiss. I guess that means my day is already getting better. :)

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